Swimmer-Parent-Coach Roles(含译文）游泳者、父母、教练 三种角色

小臭贝

“I'm so nervous. Oh my god, I can't wait for this event to be over! If I don't get a good time, I'm going to hear about it all the way home! Every time I swim slow, I have to go through the ringer with my dad (mom) and listen to everything I did wrong. According to them I don't work hard enough, my turns suck, and I fool around too much. They always make me feel awful after bad races, like they're disappointed in me. It makes me hate swimming.”

A lot of swimmers get a bad case of performance anxiety pre-race which saps their confidence, tightens their muscles and drains the fun right out of the sport. Oftentimes, underlying these pre-race jitters is the powerful worry that unless they produce, mom and dad will be very angry and disappointed.

When a parent responds to your bad swims with their anger, disapproval and criticism, we can assume that most of the time, their heart is in the right place. They're simply trying to be helpful and want you to do well. Unfortunately, this is not their role on the team, and they need to know that their trying to be helpful in this way may actually be causing you to swim slower.

Why?

In order to swim your best, you must be loose, relaxed, excited and having fun pre-race. If you're worried about disappointing your parents, then you'll be too nervous, distracted and physically tight to swim well. Your parents need to understand that if they really want you to go fast, then their role on the team must be to help you stay calm and have fun.

They can do this in two ways:

First, by being your “best fan.” Parents need to be emotionally supportive and positive with you, to pick you up when you're down, to help you feel happier and better about yourself, especially after a bad swim.

Second, by not coaching. Coaching is the one parent mistake that will cause serious unhappiness in your house and performance problems in the pool. Coaching involves critiquing your practices and races, pushing you to work harder, trying to motivate you, focusing you on beating other swimmers or achieving certain times, offering pre-race strategy and technique advice, etc.

Have a conversation with your parents today and tell them that when they act like your coach and get angry and frustrated when you go slowly, they aren't being supportive, and this will never help you relax, have fun and swim faster. Instead, coach them as to exactly what you need from them before and after your races. Help them understand what, if anything, they could say pre-meet that would help you relax and have fun. Tell them what you most need from them after a disappointing swim or meet. Remind them that they have to play the right role on the team for you to be successful.

     “天啊，我太紧张了！我迫不及待地希望这场比赛快点结束！如果我不能把握时机，我将在回家的路上一路上都听到这件事情。每一次我游慢了，我就不得不仔细聆听我爸妈的教诲和每一件我做错的事情。据他们所说，我不够努力，我的比赛失败了，我虚度了太多光阴。他们总是让我在比赛失败之后觉得可怕，感觉他们对我非常失望。这让我讨厌游泳。
       很多游泳者有赛前焦虑的情况，这削弱了他们的自信心，使他们的肌肉变得紧张，并且耗尽了从这项运动中得到的乐趣。大多数时候，这种赛前的紧张不安是他们自身引起的强烈的担忧，担心比赛失败了父母将会非常生气和失望。
      当父母用愤怒、反对和批评来对你的失败的比赛做出反应时，我们可以猜测大部分时候，他们的情绪是在正确的状态。他们简单地尝试着让自己的建议变得有用并且希望你能做好。不幸的是，这不是他们在一个团队中该有的角色，并且他们得知道，他们用这种方式让自己变得有帮助事实上会导致你游得更慢。
      为什么呢？
      为了游出最好的水平，你在比赛前必须放松，兴奋并且有良好的情绪。如果你担心会让你的父母失望，那你将会过于紧张，分散注意力，身体状态紧绷以期游得好。你的父母得知道如果他们真的想要你游得快，那他们在团队里的角色就必须是帮助你保持冷静和心情愉悦。
       他们可以通过两个方法来做到这点：
       首先，通过让自己成为你最忠实的追随者。父母必须是在情感上积极并且支持你的，在你情绪低落的时候能够让你振奋，尤其是在比赛失败之后让你对自己感觉良好并且开心。
      第二，不要教训。教训是父母的错误之一，这将会导致你在家里不快乐，在泳池里表现不佳。教训包括评论你的练习和比赛，推着你更努力，试着激励你，向你强调要打败其他选手并在一定的时间内取得成就，提供赛前的战略和技术上的指导等等。
      现在要跟你的父母进行沟通，告诉他们当他们在你游得慢的时候表现得像一个教练般生气和挫败得时候，他们不是在支持你，而这将永远不能让你放松和游得更快。明确地告诉他们你在赛前和赛后最需要从他们那里得到什么。帮助他们明白如果要在赛前说什么，那么就说一些可以让你放松和开心的话。告诉他们你在一场令人失望的比赛之后最需要从他们那里得到什么。 提醒他们为了让你取得成功，他们必须在团队当中扮演正确的角色。     

译者：Enid